Deep Breath

You may want to take two.

Tomorrow marks one year in Seoul. This means 365 days ago I had just returned from my honeymoon and was checked into the bridal suite at The Allerton for one last night in the windy city that brought so much to my life.

The adventure that has been the last year of my life has been nothing short of incredible. My first year of marriage, my first experience living overseas, my first international position, and my first time getting to write about my life in a meaningful way.

There were definitely days that were tough, but I cannot count how many times I had to ask myself if things were too good to be true. The amazing part was they weren’t, not even close, it was all very real and happening to me. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say I was not letting anything just pass me by.

Unfortunately, today I have some news that I would give anything to pass up and I despise thinking it could be true. I was not sure how to write about this, but like everything else I have posted here, I intend to do it honestly. 

My first reaction was to keep it from the readers of my blog, this is supposed to be for fun; but that felt wrong and weird and I wasn’t sure what I would even write about if I tried to ignore it.

SO.

Take a deep breath. Here is goes……yesterday, I was diagnosed as having a pituitary adenoma. 

In English?

A brain tumor.

This past month, I knew in the pit of my stomach something was not right. And when I mentioned in my last post we had a slow start to 2011, I meant SLOW. So when I heard the news yesterday, as horrible as it was, it was if a mystery was solved and I almost felt relief. They found it early enough AND it is treatable.

In fact, in the way of a brain tumor (http://www.answers.com/topic/pituitary-adenoma) there is no other I would choose. 99.9% of the time they are benign and usually people live long lives having them and never even know it. Mine however, is large enough to be affecting my vision and my hormone function (I look forward to telling you how you know if you have a brain tumor in case you have ever wondered). While it needs to be removed and I will undergo brain surgery, it is non-invasive and should be taken care of within the next couple months. 

I know this is probably catching you off guard and reading incredibly dramatic (imagine being ME). I promise to share the details over time. In fact, I believe I will need to in order to stay sane and manage keeping connected. But for now, I have to focus on what comes next and quite frankly, putting one foot in front of another. Andrew and I are making decisions on where to go for treatment, getting second and third opinions, and determining how it will logistically unfold.  

I have been once again reminded what a strong set of parents, brothers, and besties I have in my life. And Andrew, my sweet Andrew, I know together we will get through this. I have no doubt about it. Deep breath.